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I Hate Filipino Culture -Society/Politics

Tuesday, December 19, 2006

Marketing Useless Products

To succeed in business it really helps to have good marketing skills. You have to make people buy stuff that they wouldn’t normally buy. I consider myself well endowed in the realm of marketing. I will now demonstrate my marketing prowess

The MRT-or-LRT-head-tripod
We’ve all experienced it -Neck strain when riding the MRT. Introducing the fashionably upright MRT-or-LRT-chin-tripod. No longer do you have to look foolish popping your neck vertebrae because of neck strain. The MRT-or-LRT-chin tripod fully supports heads of up to 50lbs and the harness is adjustable so melonheads of various dimensions can be accommodated. As pictured above, it’s very inconspicuous and it doesn’t make you look like a Halloween artifact at all. It’s also very fashionable- I mean why else would that obviously very fashion conscious woman be using it.

Product #2The most effective non-surgical, non-pharmaceutical solution to people suffering from rhinitis and chronic colds, Introducing the Decolgen-no-more-head-mounted tissue roll. It comes in the very attractive color of blue green with a very purty white base and neck strap. The sight of greenish goo oozing from your nostrils can eat away at your dignity. So buy the Decolgen-no-more-head-mounted tissue roll now to save whatever shred of human dignity you have left


 Product #3For instant noodles with a capital “I”, look nowhere else than the Noodles-instamatic-chopsticks-with-a-fan-thingamajig. Comes in various colors to suit your mood or the flavor of your noodles. coming soon: the “Noodles-instamatic-spoon-and-fork-with-a-fan-thingamajig” For people with less chinky eyes …batteries sold separately

the rain-anywhere-red-umbrella 2000

Product #4
Tired of bringing an umbrella to a perfectly sunny day? Tired of misleading weather reports? Introducing the rain-anywhere-red-umbrella 2000 guaranteed to make carrying an umbrella always worth your while and checking weather reports a thing of the past…Are further words really necessary? Just look at the pic and marvel at how convenient it is
Product #6
Insecto-phobic? Scared of killing a cockroach with your slippers because you don’t want to be less than 5 feet from the gory sight of its entrails? Here’s the product just for you. The Slippers-with-a-5-foot-handle-cockroach-killer-for-insecto-phobics. For those days when a 10 foot broomstick just isn’t available
Product #7
From the same people who brought you the MRT-or-LRT-chin-tripod comes the MRT-or-LRT-toilet bowl-pump-portable handle. If you ever find yourself in a precarious area in the MRT where there are no handles in reach, just reach for the very handy MRT-LRT-toilet bowl-pump-portable handle and you have an instant handle anywhere you are. You may even find that people would start giving you space –slowly moving away from you as they gaze in awe of this very ingenious contraption and its obviously very smart owner

1 comment:

  1. LOL! natawa ako sa chopstick na may mini fan..hahahaha!