An Entry About Haters

Too much rage is never a good thing

The Philippine blogosphere has been a very vocal community lately. Bloggers wrote about their opinions on issues that mattered to them and fought for their advocacies. I think that’s definitely a good thing as it elevates people’s perception of blogging as something that's more than just a pastime for nerds and egotistical maniacs, like yours truly.

I didn’t post my thoughts on some of the major issues so here they are: I understand why Malu Fernandez’s article offended people but the unruly mob that personally attacked her in a very uncivilized manner gave some of the points she raised in her article a bit of credence. I think the death of Chris Mendez was absolutely deplorable and justice should be served swiftly…

I’d rather keep my thoughts on the other issues to myself since I don’t want to offend other bloggers any more than I already probably have. I’ve tried to be as Apolitical as I could on most of the issues because I didn’t really have strong feelings for any of those issues and I didn’t feel like I had anything original to say about them that I could express in more than a few sentences.
A lot of the blogs that have chosen to take a side on those issues got a lot of flack from haters who did not exactly agree with their views. Haters even attacked people who have taken a more or less neutral position

In this article, I’ll be discussing the various flavors of trolls/haters that populate the local blogosphere. They come in various levels of articulacy but they all have one thing in common. They all have a penchant for dishing out personal attacks like Joey Deleon dishes out “slightly inappropriate” jokes. They’d not only insult you, they’d insult you below the belt …and then they’d insult everyone who’s related to you

I.)Some haters seem to be educated and express their displeasure with you in a somewhat civilized manner. Here’s a typical comment from such haters: :
“I find your biased take on the issue to be counter-logical and extremely idiotic. You, sir, are an idiot and a loser. Fuck you, your dog and your barber.”
I just wish they’d leave my barber alone. I happen to like my haircut right now. Also, I love dogs but I don’t have a dog right now. Browny passed away already. I actually welcome comments like these. They spur discussion, increase your hits …and at least you don’t feel shorthanded since they have actual points to accompany their insults.

II.)There are haters that still have some semblance of tact and attack you in a very indirect manner. Here’s a typical comment from such haters: “There are certain bloggers in the Philippine blogosphere who are quite insensitive to the plight of the oppressed. They hide behind wit and sarcasm but underneath all the humor, there’s nothing but stupid and illogical arguments. They are actually very stupid losers who do not have a life and I have no respect for their godless ways… I’m not talking about a certain blogger named jaywalker of course” -Somewhere in there, you could swear that there is a hidden hint or two.
I find attacks like this to be quite annoying since you really can’t defend yourself against them. They can always say that they weren’t referring to you and then you’d be labeled paranoid. The best recourse would be to reply with another indirect attack that has so many hints that no one would doubt who you’re referring to. Just stop short of spelling out his full name. When he calls you out on it, tell him you weren’t referring to him and that the hints were purely coincidental.

III.)And then there extremely passionate, extremely brutal haters who make absolutely no attempt to hide behind civility. Here’s a typical comment from such haters:
“R U Filipino? R U CraZy? st00pID? Gago? BObo? Ulol! wHy R U nOt offEnding wHEn pipol R insUlt ur contryman. TraYtor U R woRshIP ThE US, comMercialist DoG. You sHulD depOrtEd 2 Amrika. BrIng DOwn GovrnMNT Dey BomBing gLorietTA. Replace wITH cOmMunsim m/”
Funny how after so brutally butchering the language like that, they still have the audacity to accuse someone of being bobo?
You find yourself in a bit of a dilemma. You don’t want to bring yourself down to their level by replying to them but if you don’t reply to them, their fellow haters, whom they share the same remarkable double digit IQ score with, will think that you’re getting pwnd. Taking the high ground seems to be the most prudent course of action but I’d much rather Insult them using words that are beyond their level of comprehension. That way, they wouldn’t know whether to react negatively or positively. Something like this would suffice:
“I find your thrasonical comportment, your temerarious use of invectives and your lack of erudition on the topic at hand to be telling of your exiguity of breeding. You, sir, are the very antithesis of gentility. Please refrain from adulterating my comment box with your animadversions that reek of plebian mentality”Who knows …they may even thank you out of confusion

BTW Now that I’ve had time to ponder about it, I think I actually hate my haircut.

I Hate Filipino Culture

Now before you post hate comments, let me first say that I’m no elitist. I’m not even rich in the first place so I have no right to be elitist. I’m not one of those snobs who wouldn’t recognize the country of their origin either. Read the entry in its entirety before commenting.

I hate the inter-cultural ignorance that permeates our society. Few cultures condone racism. It wasn’t too long ago when Whitney Tyson was regularly made fun of in TV shows because she was part black. And still today the term negra is a term that can be used very liberally, in public, with little consequence. The sad part is that instead of quelling it, mainstream media is actually responsible for encouraging this type of mentality. When a Filipino sees a black man, either he’d stare at him, snicker or say a derogatory comment. And why wouldn't he when his favorite TV shows tell him that it's ok. Ironically, Filipinos are very sensitive when it comes to issues about their own race. When a biscuit was named after us, a lot of people were offended. And when Claire Danes made some negative comments about the Philippines, she didn’t only receive hate mail, our government actually banned her from ever entering the Philippines. That’s just embarrassing. Who the hell elected emotionally insecure kids to run our government?

I hate wowowee and eat bulaga. I hate their brand of humor. I hate the way the members of the audience bounce up and down and laugh like escaped mental patients as they sing their favorite novelty songs. My blood pressure shoots up whenever I hear novelty songs like “itaktak mo” and “boom tarat tarat”

I hate entertainers who dress up like drag queens and make fools of themselves for the sake of comedy, which isn’t even funny in the first place. It disgusts me. I don’t have much respect for people who have no sense of dignity and self-respect

I don’t get Jimmy Santos. Why is someone getting paid so much money for intentionally speaking carabao English. Is that supposed to be funny? Maybe so if it was unintentional. Majority of Filipinos talk like that naturally. They’re a lot funnier than Jimmy Santos but they don’t get paid a single centavo. Why is pun and slapstick always the main course in Filipino comedy? It’s not even witty pun. It’s just pure dumb “if-you-replace-a-word-with-a-random-word-that-sounds-the-same- it’s-funny” type of pun. I occasionally laugh at slapstick humor but not when it involves people who get slapped in the back of the head for nothing and make weird whining noises after. That’s just annoying and demeaning

I hate our religious zealotry. When faced with a challenge most Filipinos would reply with “If that’s what god wills, then let it be” or “Let’s leave it up to god”. Why take action at all if god will determine what’s going to happen anyway? If something good happens to them, it’s because of god’s good will. If something bad happens to them, it’s also because of god’s good will. It’s a win-win situation for god and a lose-lose situation for Filipinos. Why don’t we give credit to whom credit is actually due. Filipinos love shifting the credit and blame to higher authority. They blame or praise anyone but themselves. Instead of praising themselves for their accomplishments, they praise god and instead of blaming themselves for their failures, they blame the government. If you’re unemployed or underemployed, you could blame the government or you could also look in the mirror. There are a lot of job vacancies in the Philippines but employers tend to not want incompetent people in their workforce.

I hate it that the word “ambisyosa” or “ambisyoso” has a negative connotation here. Our society dictates us to conform and not to stand out. Our society stifles creativity in the name of practicality. Our society suppresses assertiveness and encourages submissiveness –Kids can’t argue with their parents and students can’t argue with their teachers. We’re raising generations upon generations of drones and servants when we should be raising thinkers and leaders. I actually think that our schools are making us more stupid.

I hate the lack of respect for human life. I hate the way people would make more children than they can feed in the hopes that those children would generate them some money in the future. It’s a reproductive strategy that is reptilian in its primitiveness. Higher animals like the great apes and dolphins produce just one offspring at a time and nurture it for years and years with care. Same is the case with more developed civilizations. We, on the other hand, produce armies upon armies of generic offspring and leave them to fend for themselves, the way insects and reptiles do. Why wouldn’t we? Our religion says contraception is evil. No one will question the word of god. I hate how religion has so much power over the state.

I hate the fact that so much of our lives revolves around idolatry. I hate the fact that Filipinos can’t tell the difference between what is real and reel. Why did people vote for Lito Lapid and Erap? Because they killed a lot of bad guys and saved a lot of good guys in their movies. Politicians bombard us with intellectually insulting, emotional arguments and shallow entertainment because truth of the matter is, most Filipinos are shallow people. And for shallow people, you don’t need to present intellectually gripping arguments or detailed blueprints. You just need to appeal to their emotions. There was one episode of Dong Puno live before where a woman from the audience was asked if endorsements from actors would influence her vote. With a wide smile on her face, she wholeheartedly said She’d vote for any candidate whom “Juday” endorses. While jumping and clapping like a crazed lunatic of course, the way eat bulaga and wowowee people do.

Am I bashing all Filipinos? No. Am I referring to a certain sector of society? Yes. The sector that makes up the bulk of our society, the same sector of society that politicians abuse for their own ends. The same sector of society that elected Erap into power, The sector of society whose votes can be easily bought with just a few pesos. The sector of society that has the most voting power. Am I referring to the poor? I will not use the word poor. I do not like classifying people by their financial status. But I don’t mind classifying people by their way of thinking and by their culture or lack thereof. I am referring to people who subscribe to “masa culture”. A culture that is rife with Crab mentality, dragging down anyone who wishes to rise up into their own pit of communal stagnation; a culture that is so practical that it lacks awareness and interest on matters that do not immediately concern their day-to-day living, A culture that puts so much emphasis on idolatry that independent thinking becomes muffled

Kids who are exposed to foreign literature, foreign media and foreign cultures usually grow up to have more open and creative minds. I believe one reason why our achievements, as a nation, pale considerably to those of our neighbors is that “our” culture is inherently flawed. Those of us who succeed here are either of a foreign culture (the Chinese) or those exposed to western ideals. Masa culture isn’t Filipino culture. Mainstream media makes it seem like it is. We shouldn’t be proud of it. We shouldn’t embrace it. Masa culture is a byproduct of ignorance. It’s also a purveyor of ignorance. A vicious beast that feeds on itself

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Update: My replies to the comments: Link

My Bloggy Award

My blog just got a review at the bloggy award and I got a decent rating. All I need to do is make fun of a few random people's faces and I'm on my way to internet superstardom.  ... To the reviewer, thank you thank you thank you even if I'm not exactly your cup of tea :)
Most of the points that can be addressed will be addressed. I've been too lazy to fix the broken links and the problems in my layout but I'll do that soon. I do blabber about  nonsensically and rather lengthily sometimes. It can't be helped though. It is a sickness for which a cure is yet to be found

"If you want controversy then visit the Infidel’s blog. There’s nothing like a debate-loving atheist to write posts that attract flamers. Although the author does love to post his insights on the subject of God or the absence of God there are other posts to be found of a different topic. What you’ll notice though is that almost all his posts reflect strong opinions. Yes this is one opinionated blog so that it draws people to comment even in his “lighter posts”.Visual Aesthetics - 7
Too black and gray. The color scheme wouldn’t have been so bad if the font-size weren’t so small. The color scheme, font-size, and inconsistent font styles isn’t really pleasing to the eye nor user-friendly. Of course I adjusted the font-size but it still didn’t make the blog look good. The header also needs improvement though it does reflect the author’s interests (atheism and digicams).
User Friendliness - 7
Again the fonts really need some working on. The categories are few but pretty much sums up what you can find in the blog. It is also reflective of what’s important to the author. The Archives link doesn’t work and simply brings you back to the main page. At least it has a link to the Homepage when you go to static pages but the downside is that the link sometimes leads to a 404 page.
Reading Enjoyment - 7

Too much heavy stuff. If you want to discuss ideas though and like to feel intellectual this would be a blog to visit since a lot the visitors along with the author claim to be real intellectuals. The posts also run very long so that although I personally don’t mind reading posts with substance the posts sometimes do tend to drag. This blog needs a little variation in post length.
Useful Info - 8
The author like to discuss things and go on and on about issues and ideas. If you visit this blog you’ll likely read information regarding atheism, current events, and a semblance of economics and entrepreneurship.
Overall Experience - 7

This blog does have substance but is too opinionated and to heavy for my taste. The posts are just plain too lengthy and a lot of them drag. Sometimes you don’t have to be too wordy to present our ideas. A few words read by more people can be more effective than a plethora of words that just select few will read."

Marketing Useless Products

To succeed in business it really helps to have good marketing skills. You have to make people buy stuff that they wouldn’t normally buy. I consider myself well endowed in the realm of marketing. I will now demonstrate my marketing prowess

Product#1:
We’ve all experienced it -Neck strain when riding the MRT. Introducing the fashionably upright MRT-or-LRT-chin-tripod. No longer do you have to look foolish popping your neck vertebrae because of neck strain. The MRT-or-LRT-chin tripod fully supports heads of up to 50lbs and the harness is adjustable so melonheads of various dimensions can be accommodated. As pictured above, it’s very inconspicuous and it doesn’t make you look like a Halloween artifact at all. It’s also very fashionable- I mean why else would that obviously very fashion conscious woman be using it.

Product #2The most effective non-surgical, non-pharmaceutical solution to people suffering from rhinitis and chronic colds, Introducing the Decolgen-no-more-head-mounted tissue roll. It comes in the very attractive color of blue green with a very purty white base and neck strap. The sight of greenish goo oozing from your nostrils can eat away at your dignity. So buy the Decolgen-no-more-head-mounted tissue roll now to save whatever shred of human dignity you have left

 Product #3For instant noodles with a capital “I”, look nowhere else than the Noodles-instamatic-chopsticks-with-a-fan-thingamajig. Comes in various colors to suit your mood or the flavor of your noodles. coming soon: the “Noodles-instamatic-spoon-and-fork-with-a-fan-thingamajig” For people with less chinky eyes …batteries sold separately

Product #4

Tired of bringing an umbrella to a perfectly sunny day? Tired of misleading weather reports? Introducing the rain-anywhere-red-umbrella 2000 guaranteed to make carrying an umbrella always worth your while and checking weather reports a thing of the past…Are further words really necessary? Just look at the pic and marvel at how convenient it is

Product #6
Insecto-phobic? Scared of killing a cockroach with your slippers because you don’t want to be less than 5 feet from the gory sight of its entrails? Here’s the product just for you. The Slippers-with-a-5-foot-handle-cockroach-killer-for-insecto-phobics. For those days when a 10 foot broomstick just isn’t available

Product #7
From the same people who brought you the MRT-or-LRT-chin-tripod comes the MRT-or-LRT-toilet bowl-pump-portable handle. If you ever find yourself in a precarious area in the MRT where there are no handles in reach, just reach for the very handy MRT-LRT-toilet bowl-pump-portable handle and you have an instant handle anywhere you are. You may even find that people would start giving you space –slowly moving away from you as they gaze in awe of this very ingenious contraption and its obviously very smart owner

It just came to my attention that I’ve been such a wuss the last few months. Since I am a gentleman well schooled in the art of manliness and uber intellectual vocabularism, I will not call it emo. I will instead call it “A slight perturbation in my state of almost constant positivity and manliness”

We’re all human and we all occasionally suffer from bouts of depression and whatnot. What every man should know is that you can be slightly emotional without being a sissy. Here is the man’s guide to being emotional without being a sissy.

 Resist all temptation to listen to Barbara Streisand or any form of overly mushy music-that is a deep hole you can never get out from. You might as well wear a skirt and scout Qav for man-whores while wildly waving your arms in the wind like a sex crazed homo. Instead listen to some pantera and feel the “manliness” slowly seep back in your veins

It’s a steep slippery slope to gaydom from here

 

Resist all temptation to stare at the horizon with a melancholic face and slightly teary eyes. That’s open invitation for some butt kicking if you’re in the right location. Poker is the keyword here.

This is something that all self respecting men know by heart. Never, for any reason, cry in public. If you just can’t hold it anymore, point at a slightly less than pleasing face in the crowd, point at it and laugh …this should effectively mask your tears as those resulting from extreme amusement.

Should the loneliness ever become unbearable, you may be tempted to go on whoring sessions. Never go to quiapo to satisfy your urges. There may just be a reason why the girls there would sleep with you for 50 pesos. I don’t go whoring (I don’t need to, unlike most writers, I’m actually endowed with good looks) but if you’re desperate might I suggest maalikaya in cubao or a certain establishment that cab drivers know very well near the intersection of edsa and Quezon avenue …not that I patronize those establishments. I just heard about them from a friend.

Should the loneliness become extremely unbearable, you may be tempted to put an end to your existence. Someone could write a full length guide about that but let me just get straight to the point. If you’re really dedicated and you really wanna add shame to the family name, Carbon monoxide is quick, clean and painless. Plus it gives your corpse a healthy pinkish glow. Just make sure you off yourself in the first try because people are gonna label you a sissy, emo, unstable boy. then they’re gonna refer you to a psychiatrist and you don’t want that.

The Gentleman's Guide to the MRT/LRT

I know many of you have wondered at some point in your life “What is the unwritten code by which gentlemen regulate their conduct in the MRT and LRT” After reading some entries in some blogs which were apparently written by 12 year old kids who haven’t got the slightest clue about gentlemanly conduct, I thought it’s about time to hear things from a gentleman’s point of view

For the uninitiated, there are currently 3 railway transits in metro manila. MRT runs along edsa and is usually the most packed. LRT2 is the most recent, the most spacious and most aesthetically pleasing (in terms of the actual infrastructure and the people who patronize it) LRT would be the least aesthetically pleasing (in the same sense as above) 

Without further ado I shall now present to you the bushido of gentlemen riding the MRT
 

On conspicuous odorsThe ambience in the MRT can be quite odiferous especially in the latter part of the day. You may find yourself savoring the very rich scent of the very fine gentleman standing a few inches from you. Gentlemanly protocol forbids you to make rude gestures or noises alerting him of the scent that emanates from his hairier regions. I believe the most polite and prudent action would be to give him a complement. Something like “Excuse me sir! I like that fragrance you’re wearing. Is that vinegar-scent?” I will illustrate the effectiveness of this approach with the picture below

As exemplified by the image above. This approach will always lead to a very cordial exchange of pleasantries

 

On giving seats
Social protocol demands that everyone should give seats to the elderly and the physically disabled and that men should give their seats to women in addition to the aforementioned groups of people.

I consider myself a strict follower of these protocols. I almost always give my seat to the elderly or any aesthetically gifted member of the female sex …and the not so aesthetically gifted sometimes.  But there are times when the desire to follow protocol is outweighed by the desire to keep your seat. The most common approach to this dilemma is to feign sleeping.

Sometimes though, there can be protests and they can be quite verbal and more than sufficiently audible. There was a time once when I was quite exhausted and didn’t feel like giving my seat to the very well built and compact woman standing in front of me right away (I would’ve given her the seat in a few mins) She started very eloquently spouting words that seemed conspicuously targeted towards me like: “I do that too. Sometimes I also PRETEND that I’m asleep” If such a case should occur, you should hold on to your seat even more.

• Reason #1: if you gave her your seat, that would highlight the fact that you were never asleep in the first place since you heard her.
• Reason #2: Impolite women do not deserve a gentleman’s seat anyway. Seats should be given freely not demanded. 

The most prudent course of action would be to pretend you’re asleep until you’re near your destination. At which point, you should act like you were suddenly awoken by your phone vibrating. Immediately scan the surrounding area for a female who is more deserving of the seat. -offer her the seat. Stand up, lightly brush your shoulder against that of the less than courteous woman and Proceed to depart from the train.

On segragationMany gentlemen scoff at the new segregation scheme that they’ve recently implemented at the MRT and LRT1. Some of them are mildly irritated by the fact that the first cars where the ladies are situated are quite vacuous while gentlemen are forced to less than comfortably cram themselves in the following cars

The exclusive-for-girls first car

A rough estimate of the conditions in the following cars

  
Some of the more hormonally active of us gents can be seen scratching their heads and looking at the people around them, confused. Almost unintelligibly muttering words like “Who am I supposed to grope now?”

Isolation from the opposite sex can bring about homosexual tendencies in some men

Unlike them however, I happen to enjoy this new setup. Sure the visuals aren’t nearly as appealing and the odors slightly less than pleasant but should an accident happen I’ll most certainly be glad that I’m not in the first car. I also don’t have to hopelessly compete with ladies for seats anymore. Since there are very few ladies, you are allowed to use methods that are a bit removed from the realm of elocution. The art of physical persuasion can be used to greater effect. A fellow gentleman may be slightly annoyed by this approach. If his protests start to bother you, you may start asking questions about his sexual preference or the size of his member. Should this still fail to settle the argument, your elbow could then be used as a more effective tool for argumentation than your mouth.

Should you ever find yourself in the tabloids for your very gentlemanly conduct, don’t forget to mention that you got your manners from me.